Through her personal blog, the retired voice actress and singer Maho Matsunaga revealed that she suffers from alcoholism problems and that, in an attempt to take her own life by jumping into the void, she injured her spinal cord, which has left her with her legs. paralyzed Maho Matsunaga apparently sees things positively, since she claims that her current condition prevents her from continuing to drink alcohol.
His full testimony wrote:
- Life keeps turning big. Only after discovering the disease did I realize this. The alcoholism. I have been hospitalized twice for being an alcoholic. Alcoholism is not what we usually hear from alcoholics; drunkenness, as social networks call it, is a beautiful thing. Nor is it acute alcoholism. It is a disease of the brain.
- You can't stop halfway to say I'm going to stop here because it's a disease of the brain. If you drink, you will keep drinking until you die. It's basically impossible for people to come in and stop them. They look like a normal person who is drinking. Alcoholics create an aura of evil that people can't get close to when the degree is too high.
- Once I found myself lying alone in my room and I kept screaming 'argh' with no recollection of the last two days. I don't remember anyone coming to my room. I had just bought alcohol at the nearest Don Quixote and I had drunk it, and when it was finished, I went to buy more. I kept doing that. I had many scary experiences with this disease. I can't even taste a few drinks. Even cooking with wine scares me. Once you get your hands on it, you can't go back. I don't want red wine in my beef stew.
- They can be in a store that they do not know, in a train station that they do not know, in a place that they do not know, why? They are protected in places they do not know. It's quite complicated because I also have a personality disorder. So the person I trust the least is myself. In recent years, alcoholism has been slowly spreading, as some famous people are rumored to be alcoholics or have publicly announced it, but it is still perceived as an invisible disability.
- I couldn't see it, it was very difficult. It's not illegal to drink alcohol, but if you go to a party where it's fun to drink together and order oolong tea, you feel like you don't fit in. That's how I caught myself. So I disappeared from places that seemed fun. I decided to stay completely in the dark. I have blocked all the friends who have invited me. That's how I started to lock myself up; it's just lonely. Whenever I cry and cling to people, I unconsciously say “don't leave me alone”.
- But I also chose to be alone. It was painful and very sad. My future, which I had been waiting for, darkened and there was nothing more I wanted to do. The music I loved so much sounded like a bunch of people talking and I ripped out my headphones. I was very hesitant to post this, but it's easy for alcoholics to get lonely. I decided to write about it in the hope that at least people with the same illness might sympathize with each other a little if I recorded the process of my suffering in this way.
- If you know someone who suffers from the same alcoholism as this writing, do not choose loneliness. There are connections to health care and Alcoholics Anonymous. If you're like me, you can let off steam in places like that. However, now I have some relief. I jumped in a suicide attempt, which was left in an attempt, but I damaged my spinal cord, and both of my legs can't move below the thighs.
- It makes me be in a wheelchair. It's very inconvenient, but I can get a certificate of disability, which I've been wondering for a long time if I should apply for because of my mental illness. This has made my disability become a visible disability. And there are stairs and hills outside the house: I can't go out alone, I can't go to the store alone, I can't go far, I can't even take the train without help. As you can guess by now, I won't be able to go out and buy alcohol on my own.
- They say that orthopedic insoles will arrive next week to firm up the calves and dangling ankles. This will give me a sense of stability and allow me to walk around the house. But only inside the house, not outside. Even if I use Uber Eats, for example, I would eat at home, so I wouldn't bother others. The more you lose, the more you win. The more you can't do, the more you have to try to do the least you can. Because I have fallen to the ground. Perhaps this is where real life begins.
Within her career as a voice actress, which ended in May 2016 with her retirement from the industry, Maho Matsunaga played minor roles as Erena Toudou in Love Live! School Idol Project , Kurumi Kashinoki in Kono Naka ni Hitori, Imouto ga Iru! , and Izumi Nijou in Saki Achiga-hen: Episode of Side-A , to name a few.
Source: Maho Matsunaga's Personal Blog
